An Open Letter To Life

I think I nearly drowned in the seemingly absent state of light.

Lost in doubt, fear, and uncertainty, I cried straight into the night. 

And in resentment, I couldn’t help it. 

I couldn’t help but wonder why…

Why you gotta change all the time,
Why there’s not always time for me to figure out a rhyme,

Why you’re not as easy as I wish you’d be,

Why I always have to fight (and fight so hard) for what I know belongs to me,

Why you have to find a down to my every up,
Like, can’t you give me a break and just…lay off?!

Why nice things don’t seem to last that long,

Why all the fun has to end right after the curtain call,

Why there’s such a thing as pain. And sadness. And fear–

Don’t you think my heart has cried enough invisible tears? 

Why good things don’t come as easy as I’d like them to,

Why it’s not always a smooth ride–no matter how much I’m in love with you. 

But even in my fearful anger, the voice of reason comes. 

It comforts like a blanket. It smooths out all my bumps. 

It brings understanding and wisdom

To a place where there was none. 

It helps me take a labored breath, and listen to my heart. 
And that’s when I see it. 

Then that’s when I see you. 

For who and what you are. 

And suddenly, there’s only light where it was dark.
You’re beautiful and full of surprise. 

You’re not some force that tries to tear me down–in fact, you don’t take sides.

You just…are. 

You go on. You don’t stop for anyone. 

But you’re kind to those who kneel–

You are what we make you to be. 

I used to think I had to take you head on.

That you were the enemy I had to beat up.

But now I think I understand. 

You are a gift that’s been placed inside my hands. 

I can make whatever I want out of you.

I can take the old and I can turn it new. 

You’re a bottle of something so special, I can’t put it to waste.

You are time (literally) that I cannot throw away. 

You’re a beating heart that cannot be replaced–

Too precious to be loveless, too beautiful to be spent on hate. 

You’re a really long day I have to seize

So when I get home, I can smile and breathe.

You’re a song. 

You’re a gift. 

You are full. 

You are rich. 

You are life. 

You’re to be lived.